Oh hai there!
You didn’t actually think you were going to see a picture of me, right? Sorry. I’m notoriously camera shy anyway. Plus, I write about sex. One of these days, I’ll change my mind, but until then, you'll have to pay for the privilege of seeing my mug. Pretend I maintain an aura of semi-secrecy. And sarcasm.
I’ll start you off with some vital stats--I’m Briar Harvey, thirty three years old, married thirteen years to the amazing Layman, mama to the ever challenging twelve year old Contrarian, and the two year old Destructicon (short “I”—think Transformers). Their real names? Equally nerdy.
I love tea, spreadsheets, boobs, smoothies and salads, a really great newsletter, boobs, the great outdoors, woven baby wraps and cloth diapers, boobs, the sound of puppies running on linoleum, the uniqueness of vulvae, pretty much anything geeky, chocolate, birth (and boobs), quality restraints, homemade toiletries, penises, school supplies, growing things, and Doctor Who. I’m also partial to the occasional “colorful metaphor.”
But my ultimate obsession... is touch.
Our sensory experience is unique. No two people experience life in the same way, because we neither see, hear, or smell it in the same way. But touch is universal. When I touch you, when you touch me, we both feel the spark of connection. I live in that connection. Being able to help people experience the wonder of that connection is where I get my greatest joy.
The challenge is that touch gets a bad rap. Our world is filled with examples of negative touch--stories of rape, abuse, and physical violence are everywhere, and in response, people have withdrawn. We create artificially large bubbles of personal space, and we push back when people try to enter that space. We don't know how to respond when people touch us, and we don't know how to touch them.
Sex is an especially troubled touch point, and it's what I spend a great deal of focus on, because unlike casual touch, most of us don't avoid sex. But even here we have problems. Sex is business-like, treated as a means to an end, instead of the rich, sensory experience it should be.
My goal is to make touch more comfortable for people.
I approach this work in a variety of ways. Through individual and couples coaching, I explore what touch means in relationships, with our partners, our children, and ourselves. I also work with at risk and minority women as they experience the most potent sensory experience in the world, childbirth. Most recently, I have branched out into group coaching, where I teach women how to connect with themselves through the simple act of self kindness (well... simple in name, not simple in action).
I absolutely love what I do, and I am beyond blessed to be able to grow in this work. I am absolutely thrilled that you've found me, and I hope you stick around. Because in the end, it's all about connection.